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   Airy Miller
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Airy Miller: Dear phone, this is super lame but I have no where else private to write. ANYWAY, I met two guys today. We'll call them T and N. I know that's stupid but talking to myself via text isn't much better.
Airy Miller: Dear phone, this is super lame but I have no where else private to write. ANYWAY, I met two guys today. We'll call them T and N. I know that's stupid but talking to myself via text isn't much better.
Airy Miller: I don't know what I'm doing but I'm staying with them...
Airy Miller: I don't know what I'm doing but I'm staying with them...
Airy Miller: T is nice and he answers all my stupid questions but he's only awake at night.
Airy Miller: T is nice and he answers all my stupid questions but he's only awake at night.
Airy Miller: N... is really confusing me. It's a shame guys like that don't fall for girls like me.
Airy Miller: N... is really confusing me. It's a shame guys like that don't fall for girls like me.
Airy Miller: This is stupid I'm going to stop now. More so since T let me on his phone plan so I have the internet again.
Airy Miller: This is stupid I'm going to stop now. More so since T let me on his phone plan so I have the internet again.
 

Log | Early November

Date: 2018-11-05 05:50 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie
He let himself imagine her making the meals. Or zapping them in from the castle kitchens. The food problem wouldn't have been a deal-breaker, maybe, but having the question out of the way helped more than he'd thought it would.

A long while ago, Cassidy would have said it was all he wanted. A home, and a good woman who loved him to share it with. Someone to take care of him, who he could try and take care of in return — provide for, be a proper man and all that. After a hundred and twenty years and everything that had happened in the meanwhile, it still sounded appealing... and here he was resisting, because he'd conditioned himself out of any serious hope for it a long time ago.

Bloody hope. Hope was the monster gnawing at his stomach when he thought about telling her the whole truth. Hope made him think this could all work out, there was a chance, as long as he said everything the right way and didn't break the spell.

"What happened?" Which time? He might be stalling slightly — he also was genuinely uncertain whether she was asking about Sheila, about Denis's mum, or both. He'd already given her a good bit of each story...

Log | Early November

Date: 2018-11-05 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie
He could tell her. He couldn't remember the last time he'd really believed that about a person.

All right. Here went... fucking something.

“Denis’s mum — Marcie.” Marceline, really, only everyone had called her Marcie, and Cassidy had a stubborn case of laziness when it came to proper French pronunciation. “With her, the trouble was I was never around. I was workin’, I was makin’ money, and I managed at least half the rent most weeks... but I spent just about every night out at the bars with me mates. And when I was home... it wasn’t too different from the dream you and I shared. Only she didn’t always like it when it got rough.”

Her... her, he’d never exactly gotten violent with, that he could remember. Only shoved her around a bit. Wrestled her onto the bed sometimes. She'd complain afterwards, the way she complained about his whiskey breath. At the time, he’d figured if she really hated it, she’d do more than talk.

“We fought a few times. Then a few more times, until it was like we never stopped fightin', even with her only able t'speak English in half-sentences. Then one day I left — and I didn’t go back for a long while. I never went back for good.”

A couple of failed attempts to reconcile within a month or so had been enough to convince him it wasn't worth sticking around. There was more, when it came to Denis... but for the purpose of the present conversation, that was more or less the end.

“Sheila was a wild girl when I met her. But nice, y’know? She knew how to have fun anytime, she was always down for whatever. Everyone else on the commune was still into only the hippie drugs, pot and shrooms and acid blotters all day when they could get em, but you know me, I always have a soft spot for an upper. So I was gettin' into speed in the early 70s, and Sheila was the only one who'd take it with me. One time, she went too far. Got real sick. It only got worse when she started goin' through detox. Stacy blamed me for all of it — as if I'd held Sheila down and made her take the bloody things. And she wouldn't stop comin' after me for it. Sayin' I brought poison into their happy little flower garden. I had offered it to her one time — she'd said no thanks, and I never bothered her about it again. We were all adults makin' our own choices, right? Apparently, no."

He'd been in a bad way, fighting off his own internal guilt, and she'd been off her head on acid half the time, and she wouldn't shut up

The curl of smoke coming off the joint was starting to get weaker. Cassidy brought it back to life by taking a long hit, until there was almost nothing left. He let the roach smoldering between his fingers for a moment, watching the orange glow...

"We fought bad enough for the others to start takin' notice. Derek — sort of the de facto leader of the place, he's the one told me I had to leave."

He reached out to grind down the remainder of the joint in the ashtray.

"To cut a long story short: I couldn't have told ya at the start that any of it was gonna go down the way it did. Both times, I thought I was makin' a life with someone. Hindsight is always clearer than the present moment. And I have plenty of hindsight to go off of now. So might be I'm stuck worryin' about what's gonna send us off the rails this time."

It felt like a stab in the heart to say so. Not a literal stab in the heart, as Cassidy could attest, but close enough. What a miserable way to exist.

"I don't suppose that's any sort of way to live. Is it?"

Log | Early November

Date: 2018-11-07 10:48 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie
He knew what she was going to say as soon as she mentioned the broken record thing.

He still needed to hear it.

She loved him, even when. Even the parts she didn't always like. He'd heard her say that more than once before — each time, the words had bounced off the internal argument that she didn't know the worst of it. Now... maybe she still didn't, but she was miles closer to knowing than she had been yesterday. She'd seen more than anyone in decades.

And she was still here. She was holding him. He folded an arm around her in turn, nuzzled his nose against her hair, and spoke in a soft voice:

"Tell me what y'imagine it'd be like. I know you've been thinkin' about it. You and me in a house together: a day in the life. Paint us a picture, love."

He wanted to see if he could step into the fantasy with her.

Log | Early November

Date: 2018-11-10 09:10 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie
He stayed snuggled up with her, eyes almost closed, breathing in the scent of her hair as she spoke.

“It sounds lovely.”

It did. It also sounded not so different from what they did now. Only instead of spending the night in her room or his, it’d be theirs. This was not, Cassidy thought, at all what he’d pictured when he’d been introduced to life in the castle. It was also something he’d all but given up hope for.

Only in Fairyland, right?

Fairyland. There was still an impulse to dream bigger, because they could ask for anything — but if Cassidy took a second to think about it, he realized that after NeverLands, he’d pretty much run out of ideas. Even a giant robot didn’t seem all that worth it anymore.

“I’d still come back here for the arcade.” And... that’d be it, he realized. There wasn’t anything else about the castle keeping him there. “Least until we got a coupla systems of our own.”

Log | Early November

Date: 2018-11-14 03:50 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie
He felt the angle of her head changing, and looked down to meet her eyes.

"I don't hate it. I never hated it." Lest she was even a little bit thinking that was the case. "I've got some apprehensions. As I have a tendency to do when somethin' big gets sprung on me all of a sudden, like."

He lifted a hand to trail his fingers through the upper layer of her hair, brushing back stray strands.

"But it does sound nice."

And the more he thought about it, the more he laid with her here in the ease of the morning, the more his apprehensions became unable to find a solid foothold.

Log | Early November

Date: 2018-11-15 05:14 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie
His eyes did a sheepish little dance away from hers. There had been a long stretch of time where they hadn't talked about it. He'd been referring more to the first conversation... but he saw what she meant. Maybe it wasn't worth belaboring the point.

Especially when it all eventually led back to the same question. If she could be this patient, forgive him for being this much of a wanker, still want it despite knowing how it turned out with the others... what sort of excuse did he have left?

None.

"Yeah." He looked back at her with a softly resigned expression, a look that said you know what, you wore me down — which slowly transformed into a beginnings of a smile. "Damn me for a fool. Bein' a coward is bloody exhaustin', sometimes."

It was the closest he'd get to another apology for his behavior. Saying I'm sorry over and over again got exhausting, too.

"Let's get a house."

Log | Early November

Date: 2018-11-16 04:03 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie
He let out an oof when she pounced onto him, followed by a delighted laugh.

"I think I've got it." His arms wrapped tight around her, and would only let up when she did. "Also, congratulations. That's definitely one I've never heard before."

Log | Early November

Date: 2018-11-16 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie
Would they really be there long enough to 'get old' together? That was the most inconceivable thing she'd said yet, for someone who'd never spent more than a decade in one place.

It was so hard to imagine, and so far in the future in any case, Cassidy couldn't bring himself to contradict it. And then she was doing... that.

"Oh — all right, then."

He'd been about to ask if she wanted to go take a shower, then stop by the dining hall to see if there was anything on. He actually had no concept, yet, of the exact time...

But this was fine too. No complaints. He let her go and stretched out his spine, pushing his chest up against her lips before relaxing back again, settling in.

Log | Early November

Date: 2018-11-18 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie
Cassidy scrubbed a hand over his face while she teased him with her lips and fingers. There'd still been a bit of sleepiness hanging around his head, plus the mild haze of the weed. Now he was definitely all the way awake.

"Yeah — fine by me. Totally cool." Casual as you like, he reached for her drug box — it'd been resting next to him on the bed since he'd pulled the joint out of it. He plucked a second joint out and set it between his lips. Smoking while getting blown was one of his favorite things.

He puffed out a few thick clouds while she started to suck on him, let the last one out with a sigh. He blinked his eyes open to watch the smoke swirling above him. He could also see the bobbing of her head in the bottom edge of his vision.

"Oh yes, love," he breathed, as he bent a knee up and shifted his hips. If she could take him just a bit deeper...

Log | Early November

Date: 2018-11-19 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie
A couple more puffs passed through his lips, the second one drawing out until he felt the dip at the back of her tounge and the opening of her throat behind it. The gentle flexing of muscle against increasingly-sensitive nerves. Yes, this was very all right.

"Ooh — yeah, you just take your time." She could take as long as she liked... well. As long as his cock would let her. He was only human. Sort of.

"We've got nowhere else to be, really." The casual act had never been serious, but now it was slipping even further, the words coming out on the back of a heavy sigh.

Log | Early November

Date: 2018-11-22 05:09 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie
The way her muscles were tightening, he could feel that this was as deep as she could take him. The vibration from her moan hit his nerve endings, and Cassidy coughed out a puff of smoke. If she was dedicated, it wouldn't take long after that. His eyes rolled up under fluttering lids and he let out a grunt as she swallowed his cum.

He came down from his climax to feel his free hand trailing through her hair. He looked down at her with a smile.

"All right, then. G'mornin'."

Log | Early November

Date: 2018-11-24 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie
"Yeah?" That sounded like she had something specific in mind. Cassidy took another hit off the joint. He'd almost finished this one on his lonesome. If she wanted any of it, she'd have to crawl up and take it.

"What else is gonna happen today?"

Log | Early November

From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie - Date: 2018-11-25 03:44 am (UTC) - Expand

Log | Early November /end?

From: [personal profile] riotousjunkie - Date: 2018-11-25 08:26 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Airy Ja'Nel Miller