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[imaginationswoes]

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Airy Miller ▼   X

Airy Miller: Dear phone, this is super lame but I have no where else private to write. ANYWAY, I met two guys today. We'll call them T and N. I know that's stupid but talking to myself via text isn't much better. Airy Miller: Dear phone, this is super lame but I have no where else private to write. ANYWAY, I met two guys today. We'll call them T and N. I know that's stupid but talking to myself via text isn't much better. Airy Miller: I don't know what I'm doing but I'm staying with them... Airy Miller: I don't know what I'm doing but I'm staying with them... Airy Miller: T is nice and he answers all my stupid questions but he's only awake at night. Airy Miller: T is nice and he answers all my stupid questions but he's only awake at night. Airy Miller: N... is really confusing me. It's a shame guys like that don't fall for girls like me. Airy Miller: N... is really confusing me. It's a shame guys like that don't fall for girls like me. Airy Miller: This is stupid I'm going to stop now. More so since T let me on his phone plan so I have the internet again. Airy Miller: This is stupid I'm going to stop now. More so since T let me on his phone plan so I have the internet again.

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[riotousjunkie]

[The fact that she can say that now... Cassidy lets out a sound somewhere between a moan and a sob, even while he’s still straining forward in the throes of his orgasm. Pulsing inside her while his teeth prick at her skin.

It feels heavenly. And then it’s over. Cassidy finds himself buried deep inside her, hands on her thighs and teeth at her neck, and he finds he doesn’t want any more of this.

He half-collapses, half-rolls off of her and onto his back. There are tiny spots of blood on the very tips of his teeth. He can tell because he can feel something radiating off them, like heat. Like the burn of a super-hot pepper that’s also gone rancid. Cassidy shuts his eyes, carefully closes his teeth, and wipes what he can off with his fingers. He lets out a sigh. Contented. Sated. Conflicted.]

I love you, too. [He flutters his eyes open, and looks almost in her direction without looking directly at her. He doesn’t want to look just yet.]

[imaginationswoes]

[Airy releases a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

Her chest and face hurt the most and with the promise of sex gone, the pain was all she could feel. There is no lingering arousal or desire, nothing pleasant for Airy to steer her focus towards. It's over and as Cassidy pulls away, it's cold.

Knowing that their done doesn't dissipate the weighty tension in the air and Airy wonders if Cassidy is alright. Does he need something more? She can't move without feeling thin dots of pain lace through her torso but she reaches for his hand and intertwines her fingers with his.]

I'm here Cass.

[She might suggest that they find ice to combat the swelling just beneath her eye but it can wait. Everything can wait.]

[riotousjunkie]

[It feels like he's coming down from an out-of-body experience. Like he was watching the last several minutes from somewhere else, and is just now back inside his own head. It's the same way he felt all those months ago, looking down at the blood pooling under He Ming's head. He recalls that feeling settling into a hyperfocused calm, a crystal-clear knowledge of what he needed to do: call Matthew, ditch his clothes, get the body somewhere else. He isn't finding a similar sort of clarity here.

Then she takes his hand. It's tender and supportive, and enough to get him to lift his eyes to her face.

He sees pain — hard not to, when there's blood across her mouth and a red spot on her cheek. What he doesn't see is fear or anguish. The knot of anxiety in his chest loosens.]

Look what I've done. [He might suggest going a step further than ice and paying a visit to the healer — for now, going anywhere is the furthest thing from his mind. He lets out a heavy exhale.]

It's over... least I think it is. [His thumb strokes the outside of her hand. He isn't sure what he can or should do now, what she needs. Did she actually enjoy it? Are there parts that distressed her more than she expected?] Are you good?

[imaginationswoes]

[Airy isn't sure how she's feeling.

Everything is slowly coming into sharp clarity: the ache on one side of her chest, the cum that's plastered the sheet to her lower back and ass, the pain in her rear and her cheek, the sting at her neck and the slight trickle of blood there, the sharp pain on her lip where the skin had split and the throbbing that settled just between her thighs. It'd all hurt a little bit and now those little pains and discomforts where fighting for attention.

She closes her eyes and focuses on breathing.]

I'm not sure. [Her voice is soft, her throat dry.] It hurts a little.

The adrenaline is gone and it's hurting a little more. [Airy turns her head and winches.] I'll be fine after awhile though. Don't look like that Cassie. It was my choice to come here. I knew what I was getting myself into.

[She lightly squeezes his fingers.]

Thank you for trusting me.

[Airy might need some help and some healing. She can't heal like Cassidy and without the thrill of sex or the intensity of the situation, she felt a weakness settling in her limbs.]

[riotousjunkie]

[Cassidy blinks and frowns his way out of his expression, dispelling whatever it was she saw in it she didn’t like. Too sad? Regretful? He hadn’t been fully aware of what his face wasn’t doing.]

I’m — I’m just checkin’ to see if there’s anythin’ you need, right now.

[He realizes he’s been speaking quietly without meaning to. This situation feels... delicate.]

[imaginationswoes]

[Airy's smile is soft and warm. She knows nothing of after care but she does feel like she needs something. It's an unusual feeling and not like she's been beaten or hurt but something is missing.]

Could you hold me?

Maybe in a bit we can go take a bath and get me cleaned up. I might need a little help. If that's alright.

[She has a feeling that her legs will tremble and possibly snap if she tries to stand on them right now.]

[riotousjunkie]

[Cassidy doesn't know too much about it himself. He knows it's a thing people do, even been in present in places where it was being done, but doesn't have any practical experience with it. He also knows he can't just leave her alone after something like that — unless that's what she wants. This is the first time he's left a lover bleeding and not had it end in tears or near-death. So it's whatever she wants. Whatever she needs.

Holding her for a while. He can do that. Cassidy nods and raises up his opposite arm in an open gesture, inviting her to roll over and rest on his chest. At the same time, he angles his shoulders so that if she rolls in the opposite direction, he can scoot over and spoon her.]

[imaginationswoes]

[It takes Airy a minute to figure out how to lean and roll into Cassidy's outstretched arms without hurting herself in the process.

The bed sheet sticks to her lower back and Airy nearly starts giggling at how absolutely absurd that is that the sheet is sticking to her.]

Thanks. [She licks the blood away from her lips and she presses her forehead lightly against Cassidy's shoulder. The touch is tender and sweet as her body slowly begins to mold against him. All of Airy's moments are slow and testing. She'll shift her hip and when that doesn't hurt she'll move her knee and then her calf. She pauses and her toes curl a few times whenever a tight pain jolts up her legs.]

Will you tell me what you're thinking about?

[She can't really get a good look at him and she's a little desperate to know how he's taking all of this.]

[riotousjunkie]

[The instant she settles her full weight against him, all the tension in Cassidy's chest releases. He closes his eyes as relaxation washes through him, and lets one arm drape around her frame, heavy and loose.

His hand wanders after a moment, gently tugging the sheet away from her back.]

I'm thinkin'... [He hesitates only because what he's thinking just at this moment doesn't feel like a "right" answer, but — what other answer would there be?] ...I'm thinkin' with you restin' on me like this, it could be any other time we've laid in bed together. And I'm thinkin' that — I love ya so much. And I'm grateful you came runnin' the way you did. And I...

[I'm sorry? She hasn't asked him to apologize. She doesn't want him to apologize.]

...I'd love t'be able t'tell ya it won't happen again. [Whether she wants him to or not.] But.

[He can't.]

It wasn't like this before I came here. I never got turned on by hurtin' people, or thinkin' about it. It was never like that.

[imaginationswoes]

[Airy closes her eyes and listens to the steady rasp of his voice.]

Any other time, so you aren't thinking that you love me now? [She almost smiles at the thought.] I know you love me Cassidy and I know you aren't exactly happy with this. I can't tell you that I really like it that rough but I'm not sorry that I've been able to see this side of you. I want to know you, all of you, even the scary sides or violent sides. I won't let you go to far but I feel like you really trust me.

[She squeezes his waist and thumps her forehead against his shoulder.]

I love you so much.

I'll do anything for you and I'll do this again too. If you need it. I can protect myself and I whipped you. It's kinda similar though maybe next time I'll be rougher.

[Her eyes water but she doesn't let herself cry.]

And you're here now and taking care of me. That makes me so happy.

[riotousjunkie]

[Cassidy lets out a shaky breath, and lifts his other hand to brush some hair away from her forehead. That's the hand he struck her with. He can still feel the sting of it in his fingers. There's a wet spot on his shoulder, where some of the blood has dripped down from her neck.

So maybe it's not exactly like any other time they've laid down together.]

Thank you.

[A part of him wonders whether it would be better to seek out someone who does enjoy getting hit like that, in case this happens again. People are into all kinds of shite. Somebody here must be.

On the other hand, he doesn't know that would do anything to curb his unease in the aftermath. It didn't with He Ming. So for now, he keeps the thought to himself. His hand rests against the side of her head, and his thumb keeps on petting at her hair.]

Y'wanna go and wash up? Pay a visit to the healer?

[imaginationswoes]

[Airy is having trouble thinking beyond the moment. She's here with Cassidy, wrapped protectively in his arms and he's keeping her safe. Even if the person he's keeping her safe from is himself...]

You're welcome Cassidy. It makes me happy to be there for you. [Even like this.

She nods her head and pushes herself up so she's resting on her elbows. She's a little achy but cuddling up to Cassidy had helped in more ways than one. All she needs is a little tender loving care.] I still have a change of clothes here? We can go wash up and heal. It's not really that bad though I'm sure I don't look all that pretty now.

[She presses a light kiss against the nearest eyebrow and slowly rises to her feet, ignoring the way her limbs tremble with the stiff effort of moving.]

[riotousjunkie]

[He finds he can look at her face when she rises up. Does it without even thinking. Even if he thinks he can see hints of tension in the corners of her eyes... it doesn't actually look all that bad.

It doesn't look good. He'll feel better once the blood's all washed off.

And once he does something to get this taste out of his mouth. He couldn't get all of her blood off his teeth. What was left over has coated the inside of his mouth with a chemical, caustic sensation. Like rubbing alcohol mixed with scorching hot sauce.]

You're always pretty, [he murmurs as she starts to dismount the bed. He takes his own time sitting up, hunting down his sweatpants where he dropped them. As he gets himself covered up, he glances over to see how she's getting on.]

[imaginationswoes]

[Airy ends up grabbing one of Cassidy's shirt and a pair of loose sweat pants. She has close in one of his draws but she's trying to move as little as possible and merely grabs what's closest. She doesn't bother with underwear, already knowing that it'll hurt to wear anything that tight but she does grab a joint from the nightstand and lights it.

She isn't a medical expert but Airy knows that weed has a numbing quality to it and she's hoping that it helps her get to the healer and the bath without issue. The paper stings her lip a little bit but after two slow drags, she begins to feel a little more like herself again.

Smoking is something she usually does in tandem with something else but right now her focus is focused on the thick velvety smoke as it fills her lungs. Airy looks over at Cassidy and realizes that she's standing in the middle of the room smoking.]

Want a hit before we go?

[They both need to relax.]

[riotousjunkie]

[One advantage to the state in which Cassidy keeps his living space: not everything gets put away. She'll have her pick out of a small pile near the bed.

Despite his inner feeling of calm, Cassidy probably still looks a bit shell-shocked. Still waiting for another shoe to drop.

So yeah — they both need to relax.]

Yeah. [He crosses the room to join her then, reaches to take the joint from her and pull deeply from it. The smoke curls out of his nostrils. He starts to appear calmer, the look of intensity fading out of his eyes.

He thinks about going out into the hallways with her face on display.]

Here... [He holds the joint in his mouth, bends down and picks up a hoodie, shakes it out and gently drapes it over her shoulders. He'll even put the hood up for her.]

You good? [He offers her what's left of the joint.]

[imaginationswoes]

[Airy flashes Cassidy a careful smile as he drapes the hoodie over her shoulders and puts up the hood.] Thank you. [She takes the joint back from him, stealing a quick kiss before taking another deep inhale. The pain continues to recede as a pleasant buzzing high numbs her senses.]

I'm ready to go.

Which place are we going first? The baths or the healer?

[She hasn't ever been to a healer before and she isn't sure what that entails. Maybe they can help her heel faster? Her lip will be sealed in less than a few hours but the bruise forming around her right eye might end up taking a week to fully heal.]

[riotousjunkie]

Baths first? We could have a rinse off in the shower. [He moves his hand toward her elbow, questioning, offering a bit of support.] I can hold ya up.

[It'll give him a chance to keep touching her in gentle ways.

Once they're done in the baths — Cassidy reckons he can find his way back to the same healer he saw on his first day. She'd offered to heal all his burns when he'd arrived. He'd asked for blood instead, so he doesn't know what exactly she'll be able to do for Airy.

He knows she'll be able to do something.]

[imaginationswoes]

Sounds good. [She leans against him and smiles.] I could use the support. I'm not going to fall over or anything but I like being close to you.

[It's strange. Airy feels a new sort of detachment that she hadn't experienced before. It's as if there is a new place in her heart and it's being filled by this new feeling. She can't place it and she isn't sure if it has a name. It will take time to figure out but for now, they have all the time in the world.]

You still look worried Cassie. Don't be.

[She's happy to have this with him, to see every part of him. It makes her sad that there is very little that belongs to just them because the castle is strange but at least she gets to see him. The real Cassidy and not just the Cassidy that most people see.]

I'm happy. Not like... happy to be hurt because it hurts but I'm happy right now.

[riotousjunkie]

[The worry must still be in his eyes somehow. He can feel it there in his mind. It keeps spinning off questions about the future, about what anyone might think or say if they see her like this, about the way they might start looking at him. It's happened before.

He lets her lean on him as they start walking, keeping an arm strong around her waist.]

I know, love. I know. It's not... it's not you that I'm worryin' about. [Anymore. She's so strong.] You're a bloody badass. You did just what you said you would. [He doesn't quite smile, but he doesn't sound as sad anymore, either.] I'm happy I trusted ya.

[imaginationswoes]

[Airy looks up at him, her expression warm and open. She raises onto the tips of her toes and presses a light kiss against his cheek.] Of course. I'll never lie to you Cassidy. [Though she sometimes might not know what she's saying.]

And you know what, everyone else can go to hell.

[She's just assuming that's what he's worrying about.]

I won't tell them that it's you anyway. It's no one's business but ours. I like us having secrets anyway. [Airy smiles and turns towards the hallway as they slip into the baths. There isn't anyone around which is probably for the best.]

Do you mind helping me wash off?

[It isn't that she can't do it herself right now but she really likes it when Cassidy touches her.]

[riotousjunkie]

[The calm and positive spin she's able to put on this is finally starting to sink under his skin. Cassidy smiles lightly as they enter the baths, and his smile becomes more relaxed when he notices they're alone.]

Yeah, of course. [He's already offered to let her lean against him in the shower. Giving her a hand with washing is an easy addition... and he plans to be extra tender with the spots where he's hurt her.]

[imaginationswoes]

Good. [Airy smiles brightly up at Cassidy as she leans against him. Everything hurts but she doesn't care because she has Cassidy with her. The man she loves... who loves her.

She turns towards him and squeezes him as tightly as she can manage, her arms then loosening around his waist.] Damn it. I love you so much. It's stupid how much that I love you. [Even with all the bad parts.] You scare me sometimes and I worry that you're too high to remember some things but I love you so much Cassidy.

I just- want you to know that. As long as you are with me, I can do anything.

[riotousjunkie]

[She makes it seem so easy. Like all that was ever missing was this depth of love. It's exactly that simple, at the same time that it absolutely isn't — Cassidy hadn't been certain that sort of love was possible in the first place.

He smooths down her hair, and looks right into those bright blue eyes.]

And I want you to know: I am never gonna stop doin' all I can to deserve ya.

[He leans down to kiss the corner of her mouth, where the skin is still unbroken.]

[imaginationswoes]

[Her smile widens and this time she doesn't wince from the pain.] That's one of the many reasons I love you. [Airy gently returns his kiss though it isn't as greedy or passionate as usual. It's sweet, warm and she pours her heart into the slight motions.]

Everything that makes you you.

[She takes his hand and gently pulls him into the baths and towards the showers. There are a few people in the baths but the showers are currently unoccupied. Airy leads them towards a corner shower that's out of the way, making it seem like they're alone despite the fact that there are absolutely no dividers.]

Here.

[She places her things on a rock near the shower and then slips out of her rode. A few bruises are starting to color on her hips and around her wrists.] Do you mind washing me? Maybe massage a little? My arms feel stiff.

[riotousjunkie]

[He lowers his sweatpants and steps out of them at the same time as she's disrobing, keeping his eyes on hers. He doesn't want to linger on the spots where he's hurt her — the warm look she's giving him is almost enough to make him not mind about the bruises.

Still can't forget them. When he steps forward to join her under the stream of water, he takes her arm with a gentle touch.]

Yeah.

[He lathers up some soap in his hands before placing them at the tops of her shoulders and squeezing, tentative at first, then a bit firmer.]