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Jan. 24th, 2016 08:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
imaginationswoes  You have new message(s)! |
 Airy Miller▼ X |
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Airy Miller: Dear phone, this is super lame but I have no where else private to write. ANYWAY, I met two guys today. We'll call them T and N. I know that's stupid but talking to myself via text isn't much better. Airy Miller: Dear phone, this is super lame but I have no where else private to write. ANYWAY, I met two guys today. We'll call them T and N. I know that's stupid but talking to myself via text isn't much better. Airy Miller: I don't know what I'm doing but I'm staying with them... Airy Miller: I don't know what I'm doing but I'm staying with them... Airy Miller: T is nice and he answers all my stupid questions but he's only awake at night. Airy Miller: T is nice and he answers all my stupid questions but he's only awake at night. Airy Miller: N... is really confusing me. It's a shame guys like that don't fall for girls like me. Airy Miller: N... is really confusing me. It's a shame guys like that don't fall for girls like me. Airy Miller: This is stupid I'm going to stop now. More so since T let me on his phone plan so I have the internet again. Airy Miller: This is stupid I'm going to stop now. More so since T let me on his phone plan so I have the internet again. |
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Action;
Date: 2016-08-25 11:12 pm (UTC)[Airy shakes her head though she remains close to the door. She doesn't want to keep things as they are. She wants to be stronger than that. Her fingers lace in front of her, her nails picking at her cuticles as she searches for the right thing to say.]
I'm sorry. I over reacted. Remember when you came back and I showed you that book and we talked about them? That was the first time I really spent a lot of time talking about them. I talked to Gus a little, small pieces of information here and there but giving voice to things is so much harder than just knowing that it's true. I blame myself. [She holds up a hand before he can argue against that.] Because I didn't say goodbye and now I'll never get to. I thought I was over it but I'm not but it doesn't matter because I still have a family.
[She looks up at him but continues to press her back to the door.] I have people I love.
Look Nathan, I, I have really wanted to talk to you for awhile. I've always been to scared because I thought that if I said that wrong thing you'd hate me and I'd be alone again but that was selfish. Just like saying I didn't trust you was. I am so so so so sorry.
[She swallows and continues to pick at her cuticles.]
I love you.
Action;
Date: 2016-08-28 06:19 pm (UTC)He moved to her side, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair.]
I overreacted, too. [And the rest came out without much forethought.] I love you, too. I think I always have. From the first time I saw you, I haven't been able to think about anyone else.
Action;
Date: 2016-08-28 11:33 pm (UTC)Would it be corny if I said 'me too'? [She doesn't pull away and her words are muffled and unclear.] I really messed up Nathan. Tony's mad at me and I don't know why Clay isn't and... I really messed everything up.
[She shakes her head.]
I'm not a very good person. I've been so selfish about... everything and everyone who cares about me. I don't know how to fix all of this.
Action;
Date: 2016-08-31 04:46 am (UTC)What do you mean Toby's mad at you...and...how do you know Clay isn't?
Action;
Date: 2016-08-31 11:46 am (UTC)[When Nathan asks about Clay Airy begins to chew on her lower lip. She keeps her palms resting lightly on either side of Nathan but her hold is loose. She sort of expects him to pull away from her.]
I asked Clay. He actually gave me advice too...
Action;
Date: 2016-09-02 02:54 pm (UTC)[He doesn't like the idea of her even talking to this Clay, but he's not going to tell her what to do, either. He didn't have to like it, but he didn't have the right to control that. He'd learned that the hard way.]
Gave you advice?
Action;
Date: 2016-09-02 05:08 pm (UTC)[Now it feels like she's been lying to her friends.]
Oh, yeah. He told me that it's obvious that you really like me and that I should talk to you because it's what people do when they care about each other. And the truth is I've been so scared and nervous about talking to you. I know we're dating or something but I don't know what it really is or if it's defined or how to? It feels like a lot more than anything I've done before.
[Her head tilts to the side.] At the same time it's new and I'm getting to know this other side of you and it's confusing. I mean I've always felt close to you.
Action;
Date: 2016-09-04 02:14 pm (UTC)[He licked his lips and looked away at the rest of her explanation.]
I think we're more than dating, Airy. A lot more.
Action;
Date: 2016-09-04 11:09 pm (UTC)[After everything that's happened she isn't sure if that's good or bad. She bites her lower lip, her eyes searching Nathans. She's standing close to him with the door close behind her and wonders if their conversation should move somewhere else.]
Nathan. In your words, what are we?
[She just needs to hear it.]
Action;
Date: 2016-09-07 05:11 pm (UTC)[Now that she's asked, he's not sure she even wants that.]
Action;
Date: 2016-09-07 07:27 pm (UTC)Good. I mean yes. I didn't expect it in the form of a question but yes. I want to be with you and only you. [Forever if she doesn't find another way to ruin things and get upset. She feels like she doesn't have things handled and it's frustrating.]
Action;
Date: 2016-09-09 01:04 pm (UTC)Then I guess we've been on the same page this whole time.
Action;
Date: 2016-09-09 05:35 pm (UTC)Good. There's more I want to talk to you about but maybe a little later? [She just wants to enjoy this moment now. She'll bring up Luther and his father later.]
Action;
Date: 2016-09-13 02:20 pm (UTC)Sure, Airy. We can talk.
Action;
Date: 2016-09-13 04:18 pm (UTC)[She has her head pressed against his shirt and while it isn't completely relevant to the conversation she feels as if it needs to be said. She inhales deeply before wiggling to look up at Nathan.
Airy honestly has to much to say and has no idea where to start.]
Action;
Date: 2016-09-15 04:22 am (UTC)Is that what you wanted to talk about?
Action;
Date: 2016-09-15 11:51 am (UTC)No. I have a lot I want to tell you though. Some of it is silly, like telling you that I want you all to myself. Other bits of it I'm scared you'll get upset...
[She bites her lower lip and looks up at him.]
Like ever mentioning Luther or the other Druid that had been here. That seems to upset you.
Action;
Date: 2016-09-18 05:40 pm (UTC)[He stiffens slightly at the mention of Luther and that other druid, but he reins it in, because she has a point. He knows what he doesn't like about either of them, and he also realizes it's stupid.]
They just make me jealous is all.
Action;
Date: 2016-09-18 07:25 pm (UTC)[Airy looks up at Nathan, her green eyes shining brilliantly in the soft lighting of their apartment.]
But they aren't you... [It isn't like she thinks about others that way or kisses them or anything. She had dated Luther but that's very much in the past, over a year ago now.] I love you.
It's always really been that way. [It's why Luther hates Nathan.] I don't want to make you feel that way which is why I avoided bringing up certain topics. I just want you to be happy.
Action;
Date: 2016-09-20 03:37 pm (UTC)I get that, okay, but...but you know you don't have to do that by...sacrificing you being happy, right?
Action;
Date: 2016-09-20 05:25 pm (UTC)I'm really selfish Nathan.
[She wonders if it's better to be scared to say nothing or to say something and watch Nathan get upset about it. Neither really has outcomes she likes but then there is always the chance that Nathan won't be upset.
You can't be upset all the time.]