In Character Contact - Scene/Text/Audio/Video

[imaginationswoes]

You have new message(s)!

Airy Miller ▼   X

Airy Miller: Dear phone, this is super lame but I have no where else private to write. ANYWAY, I met two guys today. We'll call them T and N. I know that's stupid but talking to myself via text isn't much better. Airy Miller: Dear phone, this is super lame but I have no where else private to write. ANYWAY, I met two guys today. We'll call them T and N. I know that's stupid but talking to myself via text isn't much better. Airy Miller: I don't know what I'm doing but I'm staying with them... Airy Miller: I don't know what I'm doing but I'm staying with them... Airy Miller: T is nice and he answers all my stupid questions but he's only awake at night. Airy Miller: T is nice and he answers all my stupid questions but he's only awake at night. Airy Miller: N... is really confusing me. It's a shame guys like that don't fall for girls like me. Airy Miller: N... is really confusing me. It's a shame guys like that don't fall for girls like me. Airy Miller: This is stupid I'm going to stop now. More so since T let me on his phone plan so I have the internet again. Airy Miller: This is stupid I'm going to stop now. More so since T let me on his phone plan so I have the internet again.

Comments

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

Airy took the offered joint and inhaled. Warm tantalizing smoke filled her lungs and then slipped like a waterfall from her lips. She took another hit and this time she held it, letting the burning sensation pulse through her body before exhaling and passing what was left of the joint back to Cassidy.

The rest was his and the ash tray was on his side of the bed.

"You mentioned that. I um... I wanted to ask about what you told me when you were really high but I wasn't sure if you remembered it all or had wanted to tell me that. I know that we talk about almost everything but there is a lot of stuff we don't talk about too and I trust you, I never want to pry but I do want to know everything about you. Good and bad." She'd said this before but Airy had the feeling that it was a point she was going to have to repeat.

Likely several more times.

"I love you too." Her expression softened and she lightly brushed her fingers against his hip, drawing little shapes on his skin. "I know it's complicated and not just being here."

She bit at her lower lip. "But maybe if you tell me what you're scared of? I don't think we should be afraid of the future or every possibility that could go wrong. Well never know the future for sure but it's sort of mean of the future to holding all these what-ifs over us."

Once again Airy thought back to her conversation with Devi but she paused to let Cassidy speak.

Log | Early November

[riotousjunkie]

"Well, it's the same bloody thing as always, isn't it?" he said, letting in an edge of frustration before he took the next hit, looking away from her to rest his head back against the pillows. "You'd think gettin' older and havin' more experience would make it all go easier, but no. You start seein' patterns."

He got exhausted with himself, sometimes, turning it around in his head. Maybe that was part of what tipped the scales in favor of actually saying something. Cassidy blinked, then looked back to meet Airy's eyes again.

"The simple fact is: whenever I've shared a livin' space with someone or someones with whom I was in a relationship, the outcome has been spectacularly unfortunate for everyone involved. Way more so than the ones where we never lived together. Thinkin' this is different — knowin' it is — it doesn't change that."

Because he'd 'known,' before, that this was the way things were going to be now, that he was going to be with his current partners for a very long time, only to watch it all blow up. He could only hope she understood that — to help, he added: "It's got nothin' to do with you, all right? Or how I feel about ya."

His eyebrows lowered. A fresh thought.

"...have you ever lived with one of your boyfriends?" She was still quite young. She probably hadn't.

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

Airy shifted and laid down on the pillow next to him. Her fingers continued to dance idly over his chest while her eyes watched the movement of his lips. There was something pleasantly distracting in the way that he spoke though Airy tried to push the thought away.

This was serious but even a little weed inspired her mind to wander a bit.

"I can understand that Cass but I am different. I'm not human." Not in the traditional sense of human. From Airy's understanding, every one of Cassidy's relationships had crashed and burned for different reasons. In part, it was because the person he had been with was human. Airy wasn't... didn't that make her different?

"I have. Luther. We dated for about 8 months or so. But it was sort of a large place where a lot of people lived. He just... eventually kept staying in my room until he was living there too." She bit at her lower lip. "That was over a year ago now, maybe longer. It wasn't bad and we still technically live together, even after we broke up. Just not in the same room anymore. So it's probably different."

Her voice was soft and steady but Airy felt an unpleasant sinking feeling settling in her stomach. Did Cassidy even want to move in with her? Beyond all the horrible crap, what did he want? Did he want things to work out?

She tried to ignore the questions but they kept popping back into her head.

Log | Early November

[riotousjunkie]

"Sounds a bit more like the castle." A whole bunch of people with their own, individual spaces within a larger one.

She wasn't like normal humans. He understood that, though it didn't do much to quiet his fears. And he'd already said as much, so bringing it up again would only get them talking in circles.

Another thing that had dawned on him, over time, was how the strength of his initial reaction -- regrettable though it might have been -- had been in proportion to her spontaneous excitement. All of a sudden, it was there are houses now and I want to move in together.

"You really want t'get a house for the two of us." It wasn't a question so much as a check that her mind hadn't changed. A second later, he scoffed gently to himself. "Christ, you came runnin' right up with that flier. Bet you didn't wait an hour after you'd found it t'send me that message."

He smiled one of his half-smiles, and hoped she'd take what came next as the good-natured teasing it was.

"Your enthusiasm keeps me on me bloody toes, sometimes, y'know that?"

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

Airy looked down at Cassidy's chest, avoiding his gaze. She was trying to figure out what to say but nothing sounded right. It was close but it wasn't exactly what she was feeling. It'd never been this hard to express herself before but she was struggling.

"Ah, yeah. I did. I went to find you as soon as I found it. I thought-" She paused and chewed nervously at her lower lip. "I thought it was a pretty cool chance."

To be able to live with someone she loved. It wouldn't be exactly how she imagined it but it had always been her dream: house, husband, dog. In this case it'd be a house in a fairy sex castle and Pudge the fish and Cassidy but... that made it better than what Airy had imagined.

"Sorry. About the over excited thing. You... I'm excited when there are things about you. It just- happens that way."

Airy licked her lips and looked up to see if he was looking at her.

Log | Early November

[riotousjunkie]

He'd gone into this planning to tell her more. He would have sworn he'd meant to. But they'd veered off hard from talking about his past, and Cassidy wasn't finding himself eager to bring them back to it. Not when the present included her saying things like that. That she got excited just thinking about a future with him.

When she looked up, he was looking toward the ceiling, but with a softly delighted smile on his face. And when he noticed her looking up, he looked back down.

Sometimes — not nearly often enough, for his taste — he thought he could see the world the way she did. It seemed like a beautiful place to be. Why not, he thought, imagine they were going to do it for a moment, and see how it felt? There were at least a couple of drier, more mundane questions that had been rolling around his brain with the rest of the junk. If this were actually happening, he'd want those questions answered.

"Entertainin' the concept," he prefaced, wriggling his spine a bit to re-establish a comfortable position. "Are they gonna make us make our own food? One of the sweetest deals about castle life is the three hots each day without us liftin' a little finger."

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

Her expression softened and she tried not to smile and bashfully look away from him. That smile always made her blush like she was a fucking high schooler again.

"I don't know." She admitted in a soft voice. "But I'd cook for us and we can always return to the castle for food. It isn't so unlike what we're doing with Neverland or perfect teleporting so I can magically steal food from the castle." Which Airy would totally learn how to do for Cassidy. She might learn how to do that anyway because it sounds like it'd be fun.

This felt like a distraction from what they'd been talking about and while Airy thought that it was a reasonable question, it really wasn't that important. She didn't think food would make or break Cassidy's decision.

"Um... will you tell me about what happened before? I know that food is important but whatever that is can be solved." Airy stopped petting his chest but kept her hand rested there for the time being. "If you're still up to talking about it." She wasn't going to force it but it was obvious that she wanted to know.

Log | Early November

[riotousjunkie]

He let himself imagine her making the meals. Or zapping them in from the castle kitchens. The food problem wouldn't have been a deal-breaker, maybe, but having the question out of the way helped more than he'd thought it would.

A long while ago, Cassidy would have said it was all he wanted. A home, and a good woman who loved him to share it with. Someone to take care of him, who he could try and take care of in return — provide for, be a proper man and all that. After a hundred and twenty years and everything that had happened in the meanwhile, it still sounded appealing... and here he was resisting, because he'd conditioned himself out of any serious hope for it a long time ago.

Bloody hope. Hope was the monster gnawing at his stomach when he thought about telling her the whole truth. Hope made him think this could all work out, there was a chance, as long as he said everything the right way and didn't break the spell.

"What happened?" Which time? He might be stalling slightly — he also was genuinely uncertain whether she was asking about Sheila, about Denis's mum, or both. He'd already given her a good bit of each story...

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

"In the past?" Airy supplied in what she hoped was a gentle guiding tone. "You had said that things happened and ended poorly."

She hadn't thought that it would be this difficult to talk about but with each passing second that uncertain knot twisted and grew, unpleasantly settling within the pit of her stomach. Airy didn't want to think too far forward. This conversation was happening now and guessing what Cassidy was going to say would only make it worse but she couldn't stop her mind from wandering.

It wasn't difficult to put the pieces of the puzzle together. She'd seen the different sides to Cassidy over the months and she thought she knew what he was afraid of. It was why she had begun practicing using her abilities more, in order to keep herself safe from her boyfriend.

"It's alright Cassidy." Her fingers lightly trailed over his chest. "You can tell me."

Log | Early November

[riotousjunkie]

He could tell her. He couldn't remember the last time he'd really believed that about a person.

All right. Here went... fucking something.

“Denis’s mum — Marcie.” Marceline, really, only everyone had called her Marcie, and Cassidy had a stubborn case of laziness when it came to proper French pronunciation. “With her, the trouble was I was never around. I was workin’, I was makin’ money, and I managed at least half the rent most weeks... but I spent just about every night out at the bars with me mates. And when I was home... it wasn’t too different from the dream you and I shared. Only she didn’t always like it when it got rough.”

Her... her, he’d never exactly gotten violent with, that he could remember. Only shoved her around a bit. Wrestled her onto the bed sometimes. She'd complain afterwards, the way she complained about his whiskey breath. At the time, he’d figured if she really hated it, she’d do more than talk.

“We fought a few times. Then a few more times, until it was like we never stopped fightin', even with her only able t'speak English in half-sentences. Then one day I left — and I didn’t go back for a long while. I never went back for good.”

A couple of failed attempts to reconcile within a month or so had been enough to convince him it wasn't worth sticking around. There was more, when it came to Denis... but for the purpose of the present conversation, that was more or less the end.

“Sheila was a wild girl when I met her. But nice, y’know? She knew how to have fun anytime, she was always down for whatever. Everyone else on the commune was still into only the hippie drugs, pot and shrooms and acid blotters all day when they could get em, but you know me, I always have a soft spot for an upper. So I was gettin' into speed in the early 70s, and Sheila was the only one who'd take it with me. One time, she went too far. Got real sick. It only got worse when she started goin' through detox. Stacy blamed me for all of it — as if I'd held Sheila down and made her take the bloody things. And she wouldn't stop comin' after me for it. Sayin' I brought poison into their happy little flower garden. I had offered it to her one time — she'd said no thanks, and I never bothered her about it again. We were all adults makin' our own choices, right? Apparently, no."

He'd been in a bad way, fighting off his own internal guilt, and she'd been off her head on acid half the time, and she wouldn't shut up —

The curl of smoke coming off the joint was starting to get weaker. Cassidy brought it back to life by taking a long hit, until there was almost nothing left. He let the roach smoldering between his fingers for a moment, watching the orange glow...

"We fought bad enough for the others to start takin' notice. Derek — sort of the de facto leader of the place, he's the one told me I had to leave."

He reached out to grind down the remainder of the joint in the ashtray.

"To cut a long story short: I couldn't have told ya at the start that any of it was gonna go down the way it did. Both times, I thought I was makin' a life with someone. Hindsight is always clearer than the present moment. And I have plenty of hindsight to go off of now. So might be I'm stuck worryin' about what's gonna send us off the rails this time."

It felt like a stab in the heart to say so. Not a literal stab in the heart, as Cassidy could attest, but close enough. What a miserable way to exist.

"I don't suppose that's any sort of way to live. Is it?"

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

Oh, Cassidy.

Airy's throat constricted as he began to recount the times that he had lived with people he cared about. She didn't think the problems he had recounted would be issues here, with her, but what if there was something that neither of them could see? A pivotal flaw that would crack the closer they got...

A part of Airy was scared and didn't want that but another part of her did. If they weren't meant to stay together, then she wanted to know before too much of herself got wrapped into Cassidy. It was already pretty bad but heartbreak could damage a person, as it had Cassidy.

Wouldn't it be better?

Airy bit at her lower lip and said nothing. There weren't any words that could possibly offer the comfort that Cassidy needed. Instead she waited for him to smoother the bud of the joint in the ash tray and then she leaned over, pulling him into her arms.

She held him for a few seconds and then spoke while still trying to organize her thoughts.

"This will sound like a broken record. It's all things I've said before... and... I can't promise you that nothing will go wrong. At some point we're probably going to fight again. But we'll work through all of that. I know you Cassidy and I love you even when you're a mess or violent or doing drugs. I don't like all of it but I love you anyway. I told you that before, didn't I?" She looked up at him, her lips curling into a tender smile. "You shouldn't let your past stand in the way of your future but I do think its important to learn from it. It's hard and it's probably harder to heal with so many years of things not going well but I believe in you. And hey, you aren't alone. I'm here."

She took a deep breath and made her that her voice remained steady and strong. For whatever reason, Airy had the deep urge to cry right now and it was taking every ounce of effort to hold back.

"You know what I want and I think it can work but I also won't force it on you. I want you to be happy too." Even if it ended up hurting her.

She didn't say the last part of her thoughts but it was written all over her face.

Log | Early November

[riotousjunkie]

He knew what she was going to say as soon as she mentioned the broken record thing.

He still needed to hear it.

She loved him, even when. Even the parts she didn't always like. He'd heard her say that more than once before — each time, the words had bounced off the internal argument that she didn't know the worst of it. Now... maybe she still didn't, but she was miles closer to knowing than she had been yesterday. She'd seen more than anyone in decades.

And she was still here. She was holding him. He folded an arm around her in turn, nuzzled his nose against her hair, and spoke in a soft voice:

"Tell me what y'imagine it'd be like. I know you've been thinkin' about it. You and me in a house together: a day in the life. Paint us a picture, love."

He wanted to see if he could step into the fantasy with her.

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

Despite the tension she felt, Airy smiled as Cassidy turned towards her and buried his face in her hair. He was so cute and what she wouldn't give to wake up to this every single morning for the rest of her life.

"Really? You want to know?" Her voice was a little lighter than it had been a few seconds before.

Airy's lips curled into a warm smile and she closed her eyes, picturing the setting she'd been fantasizing about all month. "I'd always wake up first. You'd be curled up in bed and asleep or with a joint next to the bed. I'd make us breakfast and we'd curl up and eat before we go out. Maybe shag too. You'd go to work and I'd clean up and get food read for later by stealing stuff from the castle." She would go as far as ninja-ing stuff from the castle kitchens. "I'd drop off lunch at Neverland and if I don't have plans I'd enjoy myself some there." Which was pretty much what she did now.

"When it gets late, whatever we're doing or whatever happens that day, we'll met each other at home. We'd tell each other about the day and I'd probably have food for you, if we didn't walk home from Neverland together. I'd ask the fairies for stuff for us and at night we'd shag again and snuggle up and sleep. I'd tell you whatever stupid thing popped into my head that day."

It really did sound nice.

"I think we'd get a dog but we'd let him outside so we can have sex without the dog watching us. Maybe have nights when we invite Matt over and we'll have a king size bed so we can all fit." Her fingers lightly ran along his arm as her voice drifted away.

Log | Early November

[riotousjunkie]

He stayed snuggled up with her, eyes almost closed, breathing in the scent of her hair as she spoke.

“It sounds lovely.”

It did. It also sounded not so different from what they did now. Only instead of spending the night in her room or his, it’d be theirs. This was not, Cassidy thought, at all what he’d pictured when he’d been introduced to life in the castle. It was also something he’d all but given up hope for.

Only in Fairyland, right?

Fairyland. There was still an impulse to dream bigger, because they could ask for anything — but if Cassidy took a second to think about it, he realized that after NeverLands, he’d pretty much run out of ideas. Even a giant robot didn’t seem all that worth it anymore.

“I’d still come back here for the arcade.” And... that’d be it, he realized. There wasn’t anything else about the castle keeping him there. “Least until we got a coupla systems of our own.”

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

It sounded like a dream but Airy wanted to make it a reality. How fantastic would that be? She had given up the chance to have a simple life like that, where she could live with the person she loved, but the fairies had given her another chance and she didn't want to give that up again.

"Yeah." She smiled, her fingers brushing across Cassidy's skin in lazy distracted patterns.

"I'd like to get systems. Then we can play against each other. It'd be a lot of fun and we can have parties too. Have everyone come over-" Likely with drugs and alcohol.

Airy shifted and turned to look up at Cassidy. "You don't sound like you hate the idea."

Log | Early November

[riotousjunkie]

He felt the angle of her head changing, and looked down to meet her eyes.

"I don't hate it. I never hated it." Lest she was even a little bit thinking that was the case. "I've got some apprehensions. As I have a tendency to do when somethin' big gets sprung on me all of a sudden, like."

He lifted a hand to trail his fingers through the upper layer of her hair, brushing back stray strands.

"But it does sound nice."

And the more he thought about it, the more he laid with her here in the ease of the morning, the more his apprehensions became unable to find a solid foothold.

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

Airy closed her eyes, focusing on the soft tug of his fingers as they glide through her hair. She could feel his breath brushing against her shoulder and the weight of his gaze on her face.

She opened her eyes and met his stare. There was no hiding how she felt. "It isn't exactly all of a sudden." It'd been almost a month ago since she had presented him the flyer.

"Does it sound- nice enough to be something you want to try?"

Airy felt a little tingle at the tips of her fingers that told her that she was nervous. It didn't sound like Cassidy was firmly opposed to the idea anymore but for her own sanity, she wanted a yes or no. Maybe's and any open ended statement gnawed uncomfortably at her thoughts and she didn't know how long she could last before that gnawing began to hurt.

She worried way too much.

Log | Early November

[riotousjunkie]

His eyes did a sheepish little dance away from hers. There had been a long stretch of time where they hadn't talked about it. He'd been referring more to the first conversation... but he saw what she meant. Maybe it wasn't worth belaboring the point.

Especially when it all eventually led back to the same question. If she could be this patient, forgive him for being this much of a wanker, still want it despite knowing how it turned out with the others... what sort of excuse did he have left?

None.

"Yeah." He looked back at her with a softly resigned expression, a look that said you know what, you wore me down — which slowly transformed into a beginnings of a smile. "Damn me for a fool. Bein' a coward is bloody exhaustin', sometimes."

It was the closest he'd get to another apology for his behavior. Saying I'm sorry over and over again got exhausting, too.

"Let's get a house."

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

She waited and tried her best to appear patient.

The housing flyer had taught Airy not to come to Cassidy with important matters while he's high. Which was difficult since he was high most of the time. Airy knew he'd sober up if she asked, he'd done as much for her in the past, but she'd been too excited about moving in together to think about it back then; a mistake that she wasn't likely to make again.

Her mouth broke into a wide smile and all the uncertain that had been gnawing in her chest evaporated. Airy suddenly felt light enough to fly.

"Thank you Cassidy!" She half pounced half rolled onto him, as she threw her arms around his neck in a tight hug. "I'm so happy that you're lazy." A sentence that Airy never thought she'd say. "I mean," She hugged him a little tighter. "Well, you know what I mean."

Hopefully he got it. She was too excited to explain.

Log | Early November

[riotousjunkie]

He let out an oof when she pounced onto him, followed by a delighted laugh.

"I think I've got it." His arms wrapped tight around her, and would only let up when she did. "Also, congratulations. That's definitely one I've never heard before."

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

"I don't care how old either of us get. New things are going to keep happening." Even if they were only strange and unusual remarks that would make no sense in any other context.

Airy squeezed Cassidy tight and then kissed him hard. Her legs slipped through his as an excited energy pulsed through her body. She needed an outlet and as she kissed down Cassidy's neck, nipping at his shoulder, Airy knew exactly what she wanted to do.

She continued to trail her lips down Cassidy's chest, her fingers running along his sides as she positioned herself comfortably between his legs.

Log | Early November

[riotousjunkie]

Would they really be there long enough to 'get old' together? That was the most inconceivable thing she'd said yet, for someone who'd never spent more than a decade in one place.

It was so hard to imagine, and so far in the future in any case, Cassidy couldn't bring himself to contradict it. And then she was doing... that.

"Oh — all right, then."

He'd been about to ask if she wanted to go take a shower, then stop by the dining hall to see if there was anything on. He actually had no concept, yet, of the exact time...

But this was fine too. No complaints. He let her go and stretched out his spine, pushing his chest up against her lips before relaxing back again, settling in.

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

The future was a far away place but Airy didn't want to focus on it. She wanted to focus on Cassidy and their new home, their life and how fucking sexy he was.

Airy pressed a kiss against his hip as she slipped and settled in between his legs. Her fingers curled around the base of his cock and began to stroke as she continued to press kisses across his abdomen and against the top of his thigh. Each time she grew close to his cock she trailed her lips away and then back again, enjoying the growing heat of his erection as it hardened in her palm.

"This okay? We can get up after." Her voice was soft and eager as she finally kissed the head of his cock. Her lips parted and she lowered her head, gliding her tongue down the side of his shaft as she bobbed her head up and down.

She wasn't a huge fan of giving blow jobs but there was something about Cassidy that made moments like this enjoyable.

Log | Early November

[riotousjunkie]

Cassidy scrubbed a hand over his face while she teased him with her lips and fingers. There'd still been a bit of sleepiness hanging around his head, plus the mild haze of the weed. Now he was definitely all the way awake.

"Yeah — fine by me. Totally cool." Casual as you like, he reached for her drug box — it'd been resting next to him on the bed since he'd pulled the joint out of it. He plucked a second joint out and set it between his lips. Smoking while getting blown was one of his favorite things.

He puffed out a few thick clouds while she started to suck on him, let the last one out with a sigh. He blinked his eyes open to watch the smoke swirling above him. He could also see the bobbing of her head in the bottom edge of his vision.

"Oh yes, love," he breathed, as he bent a knee up and shifted his hips. If she could take him just a bit deeper...

Log | Early November

[imaginationswoes]

She focused on Cassidy, watching the movement of his lips as he relaxed and enjoyed the stokes of her tongue and lips along his shaft. He looked like he was enjoying himself and knowing that she'd been the source of his pleasure sent an little jolt of arousal through her.

Another stroke and then another, her cheeks bowing in as she sucked and teased the head of his cock.

Eventually Airy closed her eyes and focused on the feel of him against her tongue. She continued to dip her head further, working to swallow every last inch of him. She's had practice and soon her lips circle the base of his cock. She held him there before lifting her head and sinking down again.

Little moans rumble through her throat and now that she could swallow every last inch of him, Airy began to pick up her pace.